Here’s how you could approach the problem using NVC (Non-Violent Communication)
When Someone Doesn’t Appreciate Our Honesty
Not everyone will receive your honesty with joy. If they seem unhappy, this is an indication that they have unmet needs, not that you have made them unhappy.
Remember that feelings are a result of met or unmet needs; a situation is only the stimulus of feelings, not the cause. When someone doesn’t appreciate your honesty, try empathizing with them.
What if your partner has body odor that you find offensive?
You could say to him, “Honey, when we are physically close and I smell your body odor, I feel kind of grossed out and it’s hard for me to want to be intimate with you. Would you be willing to start wearing deodorant?” Maybe your partner won’t enjoy hearing this, so he might say, “Oh come on. It can’t be that bad!” Now is the time for you to empathize. “Are you feeling hurt and embarrassed because you value tolerance?” “Well, yeah. Plus, you know that I don’t like to put unnatural crap on my body!” “So, you’d really like understanding that you don’t wear deodorant because you value your health?” “Yeah!” “You know, I hear that you show respect for your body by not putting chemicals on yourself. I respect that too. At the same time, I am concerned because your body odor is strong enough that I resist being close to you. Would you be willing to go to the health food store and look for a more natural deodorant? Or, maybe would you be willing to take a shower and change your clothes every day?” “Well, yeah, I guess I could go the health food store and look for a natural alternative to deodorant. I’ll do that tomorrow after work. And, I’ll go take a shower right now.”
When we withhold our truth or lie, we can create emotional and physical distance in our relationships. By being honest, we can strengthen them.